Shirt-Lifter (& podfic)
by picascribit
Summary: 1976: Sirius has a theory, and Remus is reluctant to help him confirm it. Fluff and boy-kisses. One of my few R/S fics that is not compatible with ACOC. Edited June 2014, podfic available at AO3.


Remus is minding his own business, heading back to Gryffindor tower and mentally going over his Arithmancy notes after class, when Sirius grabs his arm and yanks him into a deserted corridor.

"I need your help with something, Moony."

Remus raises an eyebrow. Those words are usually directed at James. "What?" he asks warily.

Sirius rolls his eyes at Remus's suspicious tone. "Just a little experiment, Your High Holy Prefectliness. I promise it won't hurt, and you won't get into trouble. I just need to figure something out."

The sceptical expression on Remus's face does not diminish. He has known Sirius Black for more than four years now, and has heard such promises before.

"OK," Sirius continues earnestly. "The thing is, I need you to kiss me."

Shock registers on Remus's face for only a split second before he clamps down hard on his emotions. "What? Why?"

"Because I think I might be a shirt-lifter. I figure snogging a bloke is the quickest way to find out for sure."

Losing control of his facial expression once more, Remus gapes at him.

Sirius's tone suggests that the possibility is of no more than mild interest to him, as if he were speculating about which Potions ingredients, if burned, would produce the most interesting colour of flames. But then, Sirius has never cared much about what other people think of him, apart from his three best friends, and sometimes not even Peter's opinion counts for much.

"So?" he says impatiently.

"This couldn't wait until we got back to the dormitory so you could find out with Prongs or Wormtail?"

"I don't want to kiss Prongs or Wormtail," Sirius snaps, then bites his lip, realising how this sounds.

Remus's stomach does a small backflip. "So - you want to kiss _me_?"

Sirius shrugs. It is a shrug Remus recognises. Sirius is Playing It Cool. "Maybe a little. C'mon, Moony. It'll just take a second, and I promise I'll never tell anyone, not even Prongs!"

Remus shakes his head. "No. Sirius, I - no."

"Why not?"

_Because it's you,_ Remus thinks. _Because you're Sirius bloody Black and you make my belly squirm when you smile at me. Because what if I do kiss you and you decide you don't like it after all, but you can tell that I do and then you'll hate me and I'll have lost the most brilliant, wild, lovely thing in my entire life? Because I want to more than anything, but I'd rather not do it at all than do it once and spend the rest of my life knowing what I'm missing. Because I love you so much I can feel it in my elbows, and who ever heard of love-struck elbows?_ It is too ridiculous.

"Because I - I've never kissed anyone," Remus says weakly. "I'd be rubbish, and you might decide you didn't like it on that account."

A wicked grin lights Sirius's face. "It's dead easy, Moony. I swear! I'll show you how it's done."

He is suddenly very close, and Remus wonders if Sirius can hear his heart pounding or see the terror in his eyes. He is staring at Sirius's mouth.

_Just for a second,_ he tells himself. _He won't know. And this might be the only chance I ever get._ "OK. But if it's rubbish, I told you so."

Sirius's grin widens as Remus closes his eyes, purses his lips, and leans in to press them firmly against Sirius's in a quick, dry peck. When he opens his eyes once more, it is to see a very exasperated Sirius glaring at him from very close-to.

"That _was_ rubbish, Moony," he says. "I'm disallowing that one. You have to do it properly. Like this -"

And suddenly his mouth is pressed to Remus's, lips parted, and Sirius's tongue is grazing his lower lip. A rush of heat suffuses Remus's body and he cannot help himself. His mouth is moving, opening, responding, and Sirius's tongue is teasing his as his hand fastens on Remus's arm.

Remus moans.

Sirius draws back, an odd look on his face, to gaze at the flushed and panting boy before him. "Moony - are _you_ a shirt-lifter?"

"What? _No!_" Remus jerks away, but Sirius holds him fast. "I'm not - I'm not _anything_, Sirius! I'm not allowed - Who'd want to be with someone like me?" he finishes plaintively.

Something flickers in the depths of Sirius's eyes, and then his mouth is on Remus's again, hands sliding over his shoulders and down his back, pulling him close. All resistance evaporates and Remus sags against the other boy, because everything he has ever wanted is happening _right now_ - well, almost everything.

He pulls away again, but not quite out of Sirius's arms, eyes pleading. "Stop it, Sirius. I don't want to be your bloody 'experiment'."

A slow smile curls the corner of Sirius's kiss-swollen lips. "The experiment's over, Moony. I found out what I wanted to know."

"You did?" Remus asks warily.

Sirius nods. "Now that I'm a confirmed shirt-lifter, I suppose the next order of business is to get myself a boyfriend. What are you doing tonight, Moony?"

Remus says nothing, but he cannot stop a slow smile blooming across his lips as he leans back in towards Sirius's laughing mouth.


End file.
